Sitting at my desk, immersed in school work, I imagine a spirited hockey game with the Buddha Babes against the Hot Stix. In my mind's eye, the game unfolds play-by-play with vivid detail.
As Kayleigh "The Wall" Carter geared up between the pipes, Coach Ken "The Playmaker" Breitenbach gathered the Buddha Babes for a pre-game rally that was less of a pep talk and more of a comedy roast. With a glint in his eye, he started, "Alright team, remember the 5 D's of hockey: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and... don't you dare let me catch you Drowsing on the bench!"
The game kicked off with Lucy "The Zoom" Stoop zooming past opponents as if they were traffic cones, only to accidentally fling the puck into the stands, nearly knocking over a spectator's nachos. "Souvenir for a fan!" Ken chuckled from the bench.
Tanya 'Hammer' Franke tries to nail the puck home, but it plays pinball instead. Tammy 'Dazzle' Derasp shows off moves that would dazzle a disco ball but misses the net by a disco mile.
Emily "The Breacher" Breitenbach attempted a daring move, skating backwards with such grace, but she must've forgotten about the red line - it's not just a decoration, Em! Down she went, but she popped back up with a grin, clearly not phased.
Meanwhile, Jodie "Twinkle Toes" Trottier made a play so fancy, the puck ended up spinning on her stick before she accidentally lobbed it into the goalie's mitt. "Nice try, Jodie! Next time let's aim for the net, not a highlight reel," Coach Ken quipped, barely holding back a laugh.
The game continued with Allison "White Lightning" White charging down the ice, only to be met by a defender's stick. They called it tripping, but everyone knew it was just a tango gone wrong.
Lauren 'Juggler' Gibson keeps juggling the puck on her stick blade, only to drop it like a hot potato when she sneaks a winning shot past the goalie.
Hailey "Gale Force" Gifford's rush was a force of nature. Weaving through the defence as if they were set on slow motion, her shot on goal narrowly missed and hit the post with a sound that echoed through the rink. "You'll get 'em next time, Gale! Aim for the net, not the music!" Ken shouted, the corners of his mouth twitching.
Emily 'Breakwind' Breitenbach lets one rip - a slap shot, that is - that whizzes past the goalie's ears like a silent but deadly.
The Hot Stix pull their goalie for an extra attacker, but Kayleigh “The Wall†Carter (#1) seizes the moment, aiming for the empty net... and she scores! The goalie scores a goal!
As the buzzer sounded for the end of the game, the Buddha Babes had played their hearts out. Coach Ken wrapped up with, "Remember, ladies, it's not about the score, it's about the stories we can tell. And boy, do we have stories!" He wasn't just the creator of plays but also the master of spinning yarns that kept the team laugh
ing all the way home.
